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What are some funny and smart quotes?

09.06.2025 02:05

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Why do a lot of women have a crush on my boyfriend when they know he is in a relationship with me? I am starting to feel insecure too. What should I do?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

Why can't ugly women date hot guys? I know a woman who wants a hot BF but people would just laugh at her and ask her "what can you bring to the table for him?", isn't that messed up?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

How many of you have had your parental rights taken away because of lies and no truth whatsoever, and did you prove the lies that were told about you to be false either through drug testing or another way, but still had your rights taken?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”